WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
