It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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