Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
