I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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