i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
