I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
