All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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