smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
