Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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