They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
