OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
