I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
