i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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