how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
