Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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