so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
