tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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