according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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