it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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