Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
