You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
