look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize