if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
