Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
