When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
