Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
