I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
