Your tits are I can't wait for
Plan B is the new Plan A
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
