Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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