i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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