even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
