Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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