my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
