I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
