I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
