he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
