can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
