I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He shit in the fireplace
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
