Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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