I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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