During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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