some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
