I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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