Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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