I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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