actually, I'm a sock model
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
