I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
