Barsexuality is the new black.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
