Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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