He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
