this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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