it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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