Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
