So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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