This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
