he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize