Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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