he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize