i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
