Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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