I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
